Speaking Life to Ourselves

“Humans are not driven by the past but we’re pulled forward by the future we’re most committed to.”

I heard that quote this morning and had to stop and ponder, what future am I committed to for myself and my family? I know I want to live with purpose and intention rather than reactively or passively. I definitely have goals and dreams for myself and my kids.

So, what's stopping me? What keeps me from being intentional and purposeful?

Fear...exhaustion...sometimes laziness.

Being comfy in my comfort zone.

Staying with what's familiar.

Being too busy to stop and reflect.

Neglecting time with God.

Change is hard. It's easy to fall back into old patterns. But, I began to ponder something deeper - at the root of these things. Thoughts. Thoughts are incredibly powerful - good or bad. Thoughts - which lead to attitudes - which lead to beliefs - which lead to action or lack of action. It's easy to talk ourselves out of things with discouragement running through our minds.

We may be fantastic at encouraging our friends and family that we dearly love. But, do we encourage ourselves? Do we "take our thoughts captive" as Scripture encourages us to do (2 Corinthians 10:5)? Do we pay attention to the running dialogue in our heads? What does that dialogue reveal about what we believe?

Recently, I had a bit of a health scare related to my heart. Boy, was it a wakeup call for me! I had a moment of sheer fear at the thought of not being here to see my daughters get married, or be there for my son as he grows up, or meet my future grandkids. It brought a lot of things into perspective. I became freshly committed to eat healthier and to exercise regularly.

As I began to exercise, I felt like my body was made of lead. I felt awkward and uncoordinated. One morning, God in His mercy caused me to become keenly aware of the thoughts running through my head. I was beating myself up something fierce!

"How could you let yourself get so out of shape? This is embarrassing. You can barely catch your breath! You'll never be able to finish this workout. Look at yourself. You can't do this." And so on.

Would I ever speak to a friend I loved this way? Never. I'd be cheering my friend on, telling them, "Way to go! Keep it up! You got this!" Expressing to them how proud I am of them for taking care of themselves. So, why wouldn't I do the same for myself?

I began to pray and ask God to help me see myself as He does. This took some reflecting. He loves me. He cherishes me. He's proud of me. He is right beside me to help me and lend His strength in my weakness. He is cheering for me. He loved me so much - He gave His life for me. That's how valuable I am to Him. With His help, I had to let that freshly sink in.

I asked Him to help me speak to myself as He does - to speak to myself like a cherished friend. I knew this was going to take a lot of practice and I couldn't do it without Him.

As I lumbered through my next few workouts, I began in my mind to say, "Brenda, I'm so proud of you. Good job getting up early and getting those workout clothes on to create some momentum. Way to go moving your body and taking care of yourself. You're doing great! Keep it up! God is with you and He will help you. It will get better and better. You are going to feel great today! You are worth taking care of."

The more I practiced, the more I began to realize I wasn't dreading my work outs anymore. I was actually looking forward to them, and even enjoying them (somewhat - haha). And not only did my body feel better afterwards, but so did my soul. I have to believe God was smiling too.

When asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus responded this way, "The most important is...'you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:28-30

Can we love God like that? Yes - with His help! 1 John 4:19 says, "We love because He first loved us." Loving God starts with taking His love in.

Believing it.

And - we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. Hmmm. Would I want to treat my neighbor the way I was treating myself when I first started to work out? Definitely not. I wouldn't treat an enemy that way. Loving ourselves and others also starts with taking His love in. Believing it.

Loving ourselves doesn't speak to a shallow selfish "it's all about me" kind of love but a love that stewards well the life and body that God has gifted us. We value ourselves because He deeply values us. If we don't take care of ourselves, we can't care well for others because we are likely unhealthy, exhausted and drained.

This also doesn't speak to being a "door mat" - focusing all our time and energy on the needs of others to our own detriment. God calls us to exercise healthy boundaries. (Proverbs is full of wisdom on this!) We are not responsible FOR others but TO others.

So, what future am I committed to for myself and my family?

I am committed to believing God.

I am committed to asking God to help me take in His love more deeply every day.

I am committed to cultivating a deeper relationship with God through His Word and prayer and growing to love Him with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength.

I'm committed to loving myself and others the way He calls me to - with His help!

I'm committed to "taping over" the negative dialogues in my head and replacing them with the truth of who God says I am and what He calls me to.

I'm committed to encouraging myself the way I try to encourage those I dearly love.

I am committed to health, rest, and growth in healthy boundaries.

I am committed to not giving up. This will be hard, but with God's help, I will put new things into practice until they become habits. I will believe God and live what I believe - with His help.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Isaiah 43:18-19:

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

It springs up even now; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland."

What future are you committed to for yourself and your loved ones? Sweet friend, you've got this, and He's got you! You are deeply loved, highly valued, and worth taking good care of. He is right beside you to help you and cheer you on every step of the way. You can believe that!

God bless you, friends!